14 October, 2015

After a recent event, I was thinking over an exchange between my little and an adult. This event was a small gathering that we were a part of that included a couple of people my mini wanted to see specifically. We arrived after everyone else and my munchkin stated "I only wanted to see [person] and [person], I didn't want to see you." to one person.

Now, I will admit that this blunt statement was a bit rude by some standards, and inappropriate, and that is something I may need to work on. The comment was not received well, to say the least. This was said to a full-grown adult, mind you, and someone that should be somewhat understanding of the ways of preschoolers. 

At the time, I didn't think too much about the exchange or the way the adult chose to be a bit vengeful about it, saying that sharing snacks wasn't going to happen since my kiddo wasn't there to see them. 

After thinking back on this, I saw it from a different perspective and am thinking more about the kind of "damage" this may have done. With my new thoughts, I saw this exchange more as my child TELLING THE TRUTH and this other adult trying to punish and scold for doing so. What kind of message does that send, really? My young, impressionable, growing munchkin making an honest, but uncalled for, expression and being made to feel bad for it. 

No matter what level of guilt I feel in retrospection of how a moment may have been mishandled, I am always grateful for the new understanding of the situation. Going forward, I hope that I can maintain this level of awareness when my mini speaks the truth, no matter whether it is needed to be said or not. I pray, that going forward, I can be fully receptive to what my kiddo says and means, and that I can create a feeling of safety and trust between us, one that is always welcoming, no matter the subject. 

20 June, 2015

Burning Bridges...

     I had a thought about burned bridges yesterday and this seems like the best place to write it out. I contemplated how some previous friendships/relationships no longer exist and realized there are some that I miss and some that I never want to go back to again.
     Those that seemed to fizzle out due to various circumstances associated with moving or changes in lifestyle. We just don't mesh into each others lives anymore, but the bridge isn't gone, we just don't both live at the ends of it anymore.
     Those that ended because of something that happened that seemed rather big at the time and caused one or both to feel that the connection was no longer needed. Although the bridge is gone, it is only burned and could possibly be repaired or rebuilt.
    On the extreme side of the ending of a friendship or relationship, something HUGE happened that caused one or both to no longer view the connection as a vital and important part of life, but rather as virus that is plaguing life. In these situations, I see the bridge as blown up, not burned.
     With the explosion, not only is the bridge completely destroyed, but the people at either end are forced to evacuate and move elsewhere. These are the connections that are done and over with, forever.
     As I thought about these bridges, I tried to sort out what could lead to bridges being burned or blown up, thinking that burned bridges are usually something we do in our relationships with others, but bridges are probably blown up by us because of the actions or choices of the other.
     I have probably burned a few bridges in my day because of what I have done or said, but I know I have blown up a bridge or two (at least) because I decided that something the other person did lead me to know they were no longer the kind of person I want in my life.