10 August, 2014

Trying to start a new chapter in our lives....being a working single (solo) mama, and my little is starting preschool this year also. I have been a bit apprehensive about the whole school thing but it is cheaper than using day care all day so that was my motivation for that idea.

I started a job this last week at a local factory and now I am facing down a difficulty of living in such a small town/community of towns....people don't want to open their day care up that early in the morning. I understand, I don't really want to get up as early as I do for work, but it is the job that came along and so I took it.

The stress of finding day care is now driving me mad. The stress depresses me, and that just stresses me more....it is a vicious cycle that I cannot seem to get out of. One feeding/causing the other. I moved us out of a town (that I am truly thankful to be out of and away from) that had factory jobs and both in-home and center day cares. The thing I am missing right about now, though, is the in-homes that worked second shift. Where we are now is only in-home day cares in town and they all want to work day shift hours. I cannot blame them for that, I ideal would love to have a regular shift position, but there aren't too many of those around either.

I have a surgery scheduled in just over a week and this job I have now is understanding of that and still offered me the position knowing that....I didn't think I would get anywhere until after I was healed up so that made me feel so much better. But now, with the day care issue, I am just feeling so defeated and crushed. I am at such a loss as to what to do. Part of me thinks I should try for a different job so I don't have the hours issue with day care, but so many of them where full that I don't know if I would actually find one any way. I could try to work just during the hours of preschool but that is barely part time, and probably wouldn't pay the bills.

When I was weighing the consequences of our move up here, this was not one of the situations I considered. I thought of the support we would have with my family around us, and the struggle I would have mentally and emotionally, dealing with our differing views and beliefs, but I never thought that I would find it such a struggle to find a day care provider. I worked for a short time during the summer last year and was able to get a slot in a center in the town I was working right away, but this year I am looking for too early of an hour for drop-off for many people and others are already full.

It is pushing me to want to quit this job, but  without school this fall, I don't have that option really, not unless I find a different job first. Since I made some poor choices in the past (lessons learned), I am not able to drive currently, so that puts a HUGE damper on my job choices/searching, also. I either have to find something within walking distance, OR I have to find something where some one I already know is already working. It isn't easy since I have been a shut-in for the majority of our time here. I haven't tried to meet people or make friends so I only have family to rely on for job sources and only three work, and two of them out of town. My options are seriously limited and I am feeling the stress of that as well.

Last week I was thanking God because it was practically raining job and interview offers, and this week I feel just as desperate as I had felt about finding a job, only now I have been praying for it to rain day care openings. I keep having this idea that maybe I jumped on the wrong job offer, but I am not sure if that is really the case. I had one offer for in town but the hours are going to be pretty similar and the pay is less so I don't know how it would be a "better" choice.

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